Love or Love by Hana Xiong

Author:Hana Xiong [Hana Xiong]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Hana Xiong
Published: 2022-08-09T00:00:00+00:00

There were different riots now since there was enough alcohol in the kingdom. Some riots were about the restrictions of going to other places besides the kingdom. My mother had restricted the number of ships that could come and go. She was scared the kingdom my father was fighting against would attack our kingdom. Others were about the smallest things, such as not enough butter. Christ. Butter?

I’d noticed it as well, but I didn’t eat butter as much. Most of our butter was imported from other kingdoms because we weren’t able to make enough here. That might have needed to change with the outrage of our people though.

My father had sent letters to ask for soldiers to help them during the war. It had begun a week ago. As a result, my mother and brother were busier than usual and trying to keep calm during the storm. That left Lillian with me. Well, Lillian could talk to Luke and George if she wanted to bore herself. I sought Lillian out myself.

“If you could choose, would you want a niece or a nephew?” Lillian asked while I watered the garden near the gazebo. There were bushes of roses, hydrangeas, and camellias, all in shades of red or pink. Vines from hanging plants wrapped along the columns with their leaves cut away. I’d specifically told the gardeners not to cut the vines away. They brought more shade to the gazebo.

I whipped my head toward her once I registered what she’d asked. She was chewing on her lip as she fumbled with her dress.

Oh.

I turned back to the flowers. Their colors matched the shade of Lillian. “Whatever the wonderful Lillian produces.”

“Victoria.” Her voice was stern, as if this were a life-or-death question. I licked my own lips. I wondered how many times they’d tried. How many times had they shared a kiss? Did they whisper each other’s names at night when everything else had fallen into place? Was I ever in Lillian’s imagination when that happened? I blinked to get back to what mattered in the moment: Lillian’s question.

I didn’t know why what I wanted mattered so much to Lillian. I’d only be the aunt of her children.

“It doesn’t matter, Lillian. I’d love whatever they are,” I said. I put down the bucket of water to cup her face. She sat on one of the chairs next to the glass table. Of course it didn’t matter. They were going to be my blood. My blood would be my blood. I was going to love them no matter what.

I wanted to say those words to Lillian, but she looked overwhelmed as she held her stomach. “Would you really?” she whispered. Her head tilted up as she leaned into my hand. My thumb rubbed against the softness of her cheek.

“Of course.”

“Do you think Elijah will love it?”

I chuckled. “I believe Elijah will love it more than he loves you, darling.”

“And if that happens, will you love me more than he does?” She looked into my eyes as she held my wrist.

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